”“It’s the hormones. One minute I’m decorating little peapod’s nursery and the next I’m sobbing about what a terrible mother I’ll be. I ...un to the bathroom and puke my guts out then want to go out for Chinese food. I’ve just had a spectacular orgasm with a boy I love and now I want to cry about my future. I’ll make it. We’ll make it. I know it affects you, too. I feel it when we’re together. I hope you’ll always think fondly of me, and maybe even my little one.”What could I say? In every way. He died. And you never saw me pick up a single bottle or walk into any club. I didn’t try to throw myself into anyone’s arms but yours. And what did you do?’ ‘Ca—’ ‘Oh yeah, that’s right. You kicked me to the curb, Jon. Not even the curb. You kicked me to the goddamn street. And it took me moving to across the country for you to figure out how you felt? You’re pathetic. You really are, and everyday when I wake up in the morning I wonder what I was thinking, if I was thinking at all.’ She looked. ”“Mmmm.” She moaned, thinking about how he must feel. “I’m not sure what to do about it. What do you think?”“I’m sure he enjoyed the closeness of a woman. Would you like to invite him over for dinner some time? I know that I can contact him and invite him over. You’ve always said that he keeps himself in good shape.”“What are you saying? Do you want me to fuck him?” She looked astonished.“No, you’re misunderstanding me. I’m sure he would like a home cooked meal. I’m sure he would like being. .. from various articles. Men who had died... apparentlyafter visiting the place. All of them seemed in good health.I shook my head. I HAD no choice. I was the wrong side of 30 and theworld has no time for those who mentally never fly the nest. But liveby the rules they learned in the house... because they are scaredshitless of going outside. I put it in a side pocket and went on.Getting a Bus to the station was easy. And... then it was just a swifttrain ride out of town to the coast. The rest.
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