At which point all the readers put their todgers and twats away to save them for another day. As they yakked I was busy wondering who the silly slut m...ght be as I rubbed my gorgeous, pleasuredomes of squidgyness across the rough wooden surface, my pert pokies sensitive to every grainy imperfection and my sodden-cuntedness giving pleasing squirts of pleasure at every arboreal caress. So it came as a complete shock when a firm palm swatted my yummily displayed and wiggling botty, and not just. Happens all the time.” He said back. I laughed quietly out loud, but mostly to myself at the faint hint of sarcasm I picked up in his response. Then he noticed me staring, or rather sneaking glances at something right next to him on the bench. He looked down in confusion, and then realized I was looking at his either 6 or 6½ inch rod which was just sort of hanging in the air. “Oh, I’m-I’m-sorry” he stammered as he grabbed his shirt to cover it up. “It’s okay,” I said back, “we’re all guys. I’ll confess, it’s been over twenty years since I last had oysters, so the reference was lost on me.My second error, about short and sweet? Hadn’t she set the record straight, saying she was tall and salty.I’ll skip details of the mental gymnastics over the next twenty hours or so, as I tried to get my head around what was in store. Suffice it to say, I didn’t sleep much that night, and at work the next day, my mind was elsewhere. Including a Google search of “briny oyster” to get some clues.. She then climbed them on all fours, showing her mother the impressive wiggle she had perfected since the age of sixteen. Her short skirt just barely hid the two reasons the boys went to the club on a school night.Disappointed and angry, Diane returned to the living room and watched a movie she’d had on pause since eleven-thirty.A few hours went by and Diane had managed to calm herself with a few glasses of wine. She didn’t normally drink that much, but it had been her argument with Toni that.
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